Dialectical Theory

Why is it, that when my wife wants to spend time with me, I’m busy and vice versa? In our textbook this is called the Dialectical Theory: Push and Pull. Relationships call for autonomy, as an individual, and connection. Reading this section I came to the realization that, as humans, we sometimes want what we cannot have. My wife wants my attention when I can’t give it and vice versa. When we are not otherwise engaged in other time consuming activities, we enjoy each others‘ company immensely. Reading Back Off!, by Geraldine K. Piorkowski gave me some insight to what may be the problem. The article discusses the intimacy issue in relationships. We moved from Arizona to Nebraska in 2001. We left behind our friends and close neighbors. Since we have been in Nebraska, we have yet to develop any lasting close friendships outside the family. This has caused us to rely on each other far more than we did in Arizona. The fact that our children are getting older has also freed up time that had been devoted to their care. With this extra time we both decided to return to college. She is a year from an RN. I am a hundred years from my ultimate goal: law. Maybe we’ll have more time for each other when we’re retired.